Puberty. Puberty can be said as a milestone of your life, in another word you have reached a point in your life where your mom stops lifting you, your dressing starts to change, you have your facial hairs growing, you start growing tall, your voice changes from sounding like Chota Bheem to Vinu Chakravarthy. You literally just started being “MACHO”. But that is not all puberty, puberty literally changes everything, you could go from looking like Vijaykanth to Vijay Sethupathy (if you are lucky). But besides just appearance changes, there are other major changes inside you. Reproduction, in another word you are ready to be a father biologically (not yet psychologically). But hold on, talking about father, have your father ever talked to you about these changes in your body? Have they told you not to freak out and it is perfectly normal for a boy when there is a sticky liquid on your underwear after waking up to a really really weird dream? Or have your parents, when caught you watching porn, instead of grounding (restrict access on phone and PC) you, talked to you on how porn actually works and how everything portrayed are just untrue and unrealistic?
I’m pretty sure, most of us never even heard the word “sex” being uttered by our parents in any conversation. I learned about sex, wet dreams, masturbation, porn and etc all from my secondary school friends, my parents did not even tell me a single word about it. So, when I entered Form 1 and we were having a moral class that evening and there is no teacher. We boys were having our own secret discussion and this topic came in. One of my friends started on how he got his wet dream and how he started to watch porn and masturbate and how it felt good. I first didn’t think much about, but then one day when I was sitting in front of my computer, I decided to go to a porn site my friend told me about, and I clicked on a video and there is never been felt before sensation just below my stomach, something in me felt very excited. But then I did not start masturbating yet, I started to just watch, at that age I started to understand something from what porn has portrayed about women. I made a wrong conclusion that women are very vulnerable. The thing is that when you see something new on your own, you started forming your very own theory.
I, however, did not go very far. I did not get to the level of having a intercourse with someone. Thank to a Teacher who gave us a talk on this matter. The Teacher advised us on the dangers of unprotected sex, and also porn is not as true as they portray. Hence, I got the exposure of it and my mindset starts to change, I came to know that women are only different from their body shape and organs, but they are the same as all men. Well, that was me and my mindset. Not many will get such a daring Teacher, who would have this talk with their students. But then here, the Teacher did what every parent should have done with their children. Technically he did parents their job for them.
So yesterday, I was watching a video about sex ed in India and I can’t help but notice it’s similarity with most of our Indian parents. Why can’t we even word the ‘sex’? You can gossip a lot of things, talk the so proudly about their caste and look down upon other castes, but utter the word sex is a taboo? What is wrong with having a man-to-man talk with your kid about sex? When teens learn about sex themselves, they do not see the underlying problem of unwanted teen pregnancies, miscarriages, abortions and spread of STD (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). Sex education is about informing them about sex so that they will be ready when the time for sexual intercourse comes. A properly conducted education will really help teens in understanding their body with the changes they are going through. With all the stuff teens see online today will need proper information about it for their own good.
Most Indian parents always say that their kid always shares their thoughts and question with their friend, but never with them. It is somehow true because we could share things without getting scolded by our friends. For example you are watching Television with your family and a making out scene comes, your parents change the channel, you ask what are they doing, certain parents turns deaf for a few minutes, while the other category of certain parents, in an attempt to avoid that question goes on like “Is this question going to come out in your exam tomorrow” and further asks “what are you doing now watching TV, there are only a few months for your exam, go study now”. And there goes their TV time for the day. With such reply, kids stop asking such question to their parents to avoid getting their free time turned into study time. But what if the parents instead of reply such way instead had explained to them nicely, they would start talking to you about other things. If kids could talk to their parents about sex which is a taboo according to the society, they can literally talk to you on anything be it sexual abuse, exploitation, no topic will ever be shameful.
To conclude, dear parents please have a talk with your teen kids on sex ed. It is not a crime to talk about it to your kids. Culture Police doesn’t exist yet. Don’t be the classic traditional Indian parents who like to think sex is a Taboo. If you think sex ed is not Indian culture and value, remember that Kamasutra is also Indian invention by our very own ancestors. Just because your parents think it was right for them not to talk to you about sex, it does not mean it is right now too. Be a friend to your kid, help him/her to understand the change of his/her body, help them understand what is right and wrong, make them appreciate and accept individual differences.
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